Why We Won’t Tell You to “Get Frisky”

Getting intimate with your partner is a very private matter. So why are there graphics and posts from doulas (and midwives) suggesting that you “get frisky” and implying that they’ll be busy in 9 months just because there are harsh winter storms? To be honest, we don’t know. And it kinda skeeves us out!

We Won’t Tell You to Get Frisky

While I’m sure it comes as no surprise to you that doulas have jobs because people choose to procreate, it is not our place to suggest when you and your partner get frisky. Ever. Why? We could go on and on about this, but here are a few of the main reasons.

  • Intimacy does not always equal procreation as not all sex or sexual acts make a baby.  Some of our clients conceive with the help of science and modern medicine and some adopt.
  • Suggesting intimacy when it’s bad weather and you are snowed in assumes that you need a physical force to prioritize intimacy.
  • Sex is not the only way to keep busy when there is bad weather.
  • This assumption is insensitive to those who have or have had trouble conceiving. Making a baby is not always as simple as “put tab A into slot B.”
  • It implies that large families are not planned and they happen simply because of forces of nature.
  • It’s winter and it’s cold. Do you really feel like getting naked? Maybe you do. Maybe you don’t. But that’s not for us to say or assume.
  • It’s downright unprofessional.

Bottom line: stay safe with this crazy weather we are having. Occupy your time however you choose. Does anyone have a countdown to warm weather??

Other Blogs You Might Like

No, Facebook. I don’t want to “check-in” at the hospital.
Storm Preparedness
No Kissing, Please!


A special thanks to Tiffany Shank of Virginia is for Doulas for the inspiration to write this article.